Friday Double: (7) Kon'nichiwa (Part 1)

Fall, 1973:  My family had just moved 2000+ clicks north from Texas.  Since we were now in suburban Chicago, the TV now picked up eight -- count 'em, eight! -- channels, not just the three I got before.  Before the move, the nearest pro sports teams were Houston, three hours away by car, and Dallas (way too far!).  Now, there were five teams just an hour away.  The whole experience was a culture shock I was enjoying.  On top of all that, I had never seen anything like Speed Racer, something to which I became addicted.  Eventually, I outgrew that anime, but it's remained a keystone for me, a reminder of some very happy days.

Shouldn't that red car have about
400 endorsements plastered on its sides?

Yes, the storylines in Speed Racer suck, and so does the animation.  The animators, I suppose, can blame it on the 1960s, but it turned into a really bad movie just two years ago.  Nobuyoshi Koshibe's soundtrack music, happily, has held up much better over the decades.  It borrowed from the West Coast style of jazz that was popular then.  I'm still looking for one commonly used piece that would fit in beautifully in an NFL Films video, but my other favorite Koshibe track is the theme for "The Mammoth Car" (1967; still shown at right).  The episode is one of the most ridiculous of the entire series, and the Mammoth Car itself makes Aruba's World Cup dreams look downright credible.  Nevertheless, its theme carries a tone of menace worthy of a major villain from a series that's actually worthwhile.

Alas, I'm not allowed to embed this video, so you'll need to click on a link.   Go ahead; it's worth the effort.

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These days, it's Yoko Kanno who's been scoring some of the better Japanese anime out there.  Her best known pieces Stateside come from Cowboy Bebop, a program that's decent, but not as enjoyable as another anime she's scored, Ghost in the Shell.  On the other hand, I do like the music on Bebop better; in particular, it has a really snazzy theme.  Enjoy.

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The Bachmanns' unfunny corn-dog joke

Yeehaw!  You go, Optimus!

With Texas governor Rick Perry coming on board as a GOP Presidential candidate, Michele Bachmann's campaign will probably fade.  Perry's a gun-totin', macho man from Texas (just like his predecessor, George W. Bush), so conservative evangelicals will probably fall behind him.  For now, though, Bachmann still holds the Dominionist banner.  However quickly Perry's campaign overtakes hers, those corn-dog pictures that have won such attention last week still hold a lesson for those of us who would like to keep her like out of power.

I've wondered why Michele hasn't more forcefully defended her husband Marcus against all the questions and jokes about his sexuality.  It's not that he doesn't deserve criticism regarding his counseling of gays.  Those "pray away the gay" tactics Marcus has used in his practice are offensive.

The Bachmanns, unlike fellow fundamentalist-Christian favorites Perry, Bush and Sarah Palin, are hard-core Dominionists.  I don't think Bush has even wondered whether he is one, but he did appeal to them.  Palin is one, but she's more like the lead choir singer at Sunday services than an actual church official.  Perry isn't one, yet, although he has quite consciously moved into their corner.  Unlike any of them, the Bachmanns know what they are preaching.

Given that the Bachmanns's beliefs include "complementarian theology," which boils down to the notion that wives must submit their husbands, you'd think that Michele's candidacy contradicts itself.  How, after all, can a woman rule a nation is she is subservient to her husband?  Shouldn't Marcus be the one running for the White House?  What's wrong with him, anyway?  At face value, it's Michele's Dominionist supporters who should be going at her in weapons-free mode.

Michele can answer that:  wifely submission serves the larger goal submitting to God.  I would imagine that some of her supporters also think that Marcus's counseling would be much better served with Michele running the Oval Office.  Not all Dominionists buy those arguments; some would still feel obligated to attack the Bachmanns.  But even then, why bother, when their common enemies are doing all the hard work for them?  This way, Dominionists (and the rest of the Fox News set) can yet again pretend the victims of the godless pinko Muslim pagan Communist socialist heathen mutants who supposedly dominate the mainstream media.

Enter these photos of the foot-long corn dog:

A starburst in every bite.  Oh, wait:  this isn't Caribou Barbie, is it?

You know what they tell me?  The Bachmanns have decided to stop fighting all the questions about Marcus's sexuality.  If they really cared about quelling the rumors once and for all, they would have just stayed away from the corn-dog lines in Ames.  They've seen all the phallic jokes, and now they're just playing along.

Sometimes a corn dog is just a corn dog.  And sometimes it's a big, fat middle finger to the world.

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Friday Double: (6) The intransigent black hole

First, a quick observation on media coverage of the debt-ceiling hostage situation:  the word "intransigent" describes a driver who crawls down the road at 20 mph below the speed limit and then refuses to let anyone else pass.  Technicaly, it's possible to use "intransigent" to describe the Osama bin Ladens, Agosto Pinchets and Anders Breviks of the world -- but that seems woefully inadequate, doesn't it?  Given their grim determination to shove the United States through an event horizon, House Republicans shouldn't be described as "intransigent," either.

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Event horizons, as suggested by the teabaggers, were my initial excuse for this week's Friday Double picks.  These are the parts of black holes from which neither matter nor light can escape.  My original plan for today was to just post a couple of pieces of music with black-hole motifs.

Leave it to U.S. Soccer hand me a new excuse to pile on top of the first.  Men's national team coach Bob Bradley, whose firing I had been hoping to see following last month's Gold Cup debacle, got the sack yesterday.  No word on whether Bradley chose paper or plastic.

Click to hear how I feel about this development.

This pretty overture is exactly that -- the overture to The Black Hole (1979).  For a barely watchable piece of unintentionally funny science fiction, it's an enormous part of Hollywood film history.

• It was the first movie Disney ever produced for an audience that didn't include younger children.  The movie succeeded well enough to eventually spawn the Touchstone Pictures and Hollywood Pictures studios, and, from there, the Disney empire we know and love.
• Its John Barry score was the first to ever be digitally recorded.
• After this and Star Trek: The Motion Picture, no mainstream Hollywood movie ever includes an overture.

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Jürgen Klinsmann (Wikipedia)

Back to U.S. Soccer.  Today, the federation named former German head coach Jürgen Klinsmann to succeed Bradley.  If the deal leaves Klinsmann the control over the men's program he wanted five years ago, this could be a good thing.  But his actual coaching resume is mixed.  He did take the Germans into the 2006 World Cup semifinals at home, and he did lead Bayern Munich deep into the UEFA Champions League.  But both terms were short, and Bayern didn't do so well in the Bundesliga under his reign.

As it turns out, the main title to John Barry's Black Hole score expresses my feelings about Klinsmann's hiring.  Bradley left the men's program in worse shape than many of my fellow U.S. soccer fans seem to think, so I'm only willing to give him a 2-in-3 chance of success.  If he fails, it won't be all his fault.

Either way, click and enjoy the main title.

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Early Tuesday Football: Easy Comfort

Golden Ball winner Homare Sawa lifts the
Women's World Cup trophy for victorious Japan. 
(Frank Augstein, Associated Press)

Well, I could complain about all those missed first-half opportunities, or the defensive lapses towards the end, or the shocking penalty-kick misses in the shootout.  It certainly was a disappointment to see the U.S. lose the Women's World Cup final Sunday night in Frankurt.  Still, there's plenty of comfort to be had.

The Japanese needed the Cup a lot more than the U.S. did -- a lot more.  That would be the Japanese nation, still in the early stages of its long recovery from the March earthquake that devastated it.  I'd hate to think about the reaction in Japan had the Americans held on, but that didn't happen.  For now, the Rising Sun is a little brighter; and that's a good thing, indeed.

This was an American letdown, not a fiasco.  Over at the New York Daily News, Frank Isola completely missed this question.  Not only wasn't this "simply the worst loss in the history of the national team," it wasn't really even a loss.  The correct answer to that question is (b) that 4-0 thrashing Brazil gave the U.S. four years ago in China.  You know, the one that got Hope Solo thrown off the team, led to the furious dismissal of coach Greg Ryan, and might have destroyed the U.S. program had his successor, Pia Sundhage, not stepped in to rescue it.

Japan spent the first half Sunday dodging more bullets than Ghost in the Shell's Section 9.  In non-anime terms, the Japanese had the luck to survive a deadly barrage that should have finished them -- and then, they had the skill and persistence to take advantage of that break.  The U.S. didn't lose the World Cup; Japan won it.

Disappointed, but not grieving:  U.S. keeper Hope Solo chats
with Japan's Ana Miyama after the match.
(Kevin C. Cox/FIFA via Getty Images)

This was an amazing World Cup tournament.  Japan won with brilliant passing and incredible discipline.  The Americans and the Swedes also looked very good when they didn't have to deal with Japan (or each other).  France turned out to be for real.  Down the ladder a rung or two, Australia, England and Mexico all provided pleasant surprises.  Finally, as Germany and Brazil learned to their sorrow, the era of a free pass to the semifinals has ended.

9-0 and 7-1 blowouts didn't happen this time.  Alas, they may return in four years, as the Canadians  host an expanded field of 24 teams.  On the other hand, some traditional powers that missed out (most notably China and Denmark) should easily find room to return to the field.

It's one of the greatest tournament upsets in sporting history.  No World Cup has produced such as massive upset winner as this edition of Nadeshiko Japan.  Outside soccer, and in the U.S., there are  few examples:  the Super Bowl III champion New York Jets; the North Carolina State squad that stunned the 1983 Men's Final Four¹; and, of course, the U.S. hockey team that famously beat the Soviets en route to Olympic gold in 1980.  There's also a case to include the 1966 Texas Western hoops team in this list.  Japan's win this week is notable because, like those other teams, no one took them seriously at the start of the campaign.  Just the road win at Germany in the quarterfinal was a monumental upset, yet the Japanese improved on that.

Hey, at least we're not Brazil.  Last Sunday in the quarterfinals, Abby Wambach put paid to the Samba Queens' embarrassing, cynical, overly theatrical performance, then Hope Solo blocked their World Cup hopes away in the penalty-kick shootout.  This Sunday, the Brazilian men matched that "historical imcompetence²," missing all four penalty kicks in their Copa América quarterfinal exit at the hands of the Tholians Paraguay.  At last report, Seleçao coach Mano Menezes was pleading for his nation not to panic.  Considering how badly the Brazilian men played in this Copa, that might take a little effort.

Anyway, congratulations to Nadeshiko Japan, Champions of the World!

1.  In a sad update that only came to mind now, Lorenzo Charles, whose buzzer-beating dunk propelled the Wolfpack past prohibitive favorite Houston, perished in a car accident just three weeks ago.  Belated condolences to his family, his friends and the North Carolina State community.
2.  Thanks for that hyperbolic description of Coach Menezes, O Globo.

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Behold! the Black Widows

There's really not much more to say about the American women's magnificent comeback win over Brazil last Sunday in Dresden.  It only had a few things going for it:

• A referee who gave both teams so much cause to complain, she booked eight players and ejected a ninth to cover her officiating crimes;
• One team dominating play despite spending 52 minutes one player down;
• The other team scoring both goals on bad calls;
• Brazilian star Marta getting constantly jeered despite doing nothing especially wrong; and
• Oh, yeah, this immaculate little reception:

Apart from all that, it was a pretty ordinary game.  Check that: today's 3-1 win over France in the Women's World Cup semifinal was ordinary.  Les Bleus certainly belong at this level, but I felt as though I were watching another NCAA basketball tournament game in which a high seed struggles for 30 minutes before putting away the mid-major upstart.

And there was another fault Sunday besides the officiating:  those black kits the U.S. women were wearing.  I've made my ill feelings about the overuse of black in sports uniforms known as recently as two posts ago, and this would seem to fit that depressing pattern.  The thing is, in international soccer, a national team's uniform doesn't always match the national flag.  Italy (blue) and the Netherlands (orange) and Spain (dark blue) all break that rule, and their men's soccer traditions have hardly suffered.  Japan (blue), whose ladies have earned the right to face the U.S. in the World Cup Final next Sunday, is the latest success story.  Slovenia (green) and Venezuela (crimson) haven't become world powers as a result, but they're both doing just fine these days.

In that light, maybe I won't have a problem if the U.S. women decide to go with black road kits on a permanent basis.  For one thing, they're winning.  For another, the kits themselves already have a name:  "Black Widows."  That sounds like it could double as a suitable nickname for a U.S. program that's proven itself to be as dangerous as ever.

My prediction for Sunday:  the Black Widows beat Japan, 2-1, but they'll need the extra half-hour.

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Birthday kitteh!

Here is Scooter, sleeping in a new spot.  That blue comforter Scooter loves is now serving as an everyday bed cover, so she now sleeps everywhere on the bed, not just the corner where her blanket lives.

I don't really care where she sleeps, actually.  I'm just grateful she made it through a rough winter that included two illnesses and a pair of huge guest dogs that (shockingly) didn't submit to her will.  It all left her a bit traumatized, but she's slowly started to reclaim her old napping spots outside my bedroom.  As of two days ago, she's graced my life for thirteen years.  She was about a year old when I adopted her, so now she's 14 years old.  Here's hoping she has quite a few more left with me.

Happy 14th birthday, Scooter.

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A few remarks about the Gold Cup final

Mexico midfielder Giovani Dos Santos.
That's with one 'n,' spell checkers.
(Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Hats off to the Mexican soccer team for their 4-2 comeback win over the U.S. tonight.  El Tri has had its share of controversy during this Gold Cup, but coach José María de la Torre has done a great job healing a squad Howard Cosell* would have called "a team in disarray."  The emergence of Gio Dos Santos (Tottenham) and Javier "Chicarito" Hernadez (Manchester Utd.) as English Premier League superstars has helped, but I'd bet Javier Aguirre wouldn't have done as well with this talent.

U.S. keeper Tim Howard.  (AP)

It's the Stars and Stripes who are experiencing disarray now.  The defense has taken a couple of giant steps backward in the past year.  Tim Howard's play in goal has seriously slipped.  He needs to stop worrying so much about his sucky defenders and start worrying about himself.  Carlos Bocanegra -- the U.S. captain -- was just awful tonight, losing track of Pablo Barrera on the go-ahead goal at 50', then setting up Dos Santos's spectacular goal with a poor clearance in the 76th minute.  As often as they overran the U.S. defensive midfield, I started wondering whether the Mexicans would get tired.  [They didn't.]

Oh, yeah:  does Bob Bradley want to explain the logic to me again?  He sat his best players for the first half against Spain, and ended up losing 4-0 at home... so his team could then lose at home to Panama?  I understood his need to build the bench, but that was ridiculous.  More generally, Freddy Adu's emergence notwithstanding, I'm seeing way too much backsliding on the team as a whole.  Qualification for Brazil three years hence is now looking much harder.  The 2009 Confederations Cup helped the U.S. tremendously as it prepared for the World Cup, but Bradley won't have that aid this time.

I'd call for Bradley's dismissal, but then I'd have to suggest a replacement -- and I can't think of one.  Part of the trouble is that coaching the U.S. men isn't exactly a plum position.  It's like being the gridiron coach at Kentucky:  you'd be working in the glamorous SEC, but at a place where your sport isn't king.  [Text me when UK wins a BCS bowl game.]

Back to the CONCACAF champions.  Mexico has looked great, but frankly, Honduras and the fading U.S. are the strongest teams they've seen in a long while.  El Tri does have a guest appearance in the Copa América, the South American championship, coming up, so more serious tests are coming in a hurry.

And would it be too much to ask el Tri to leave the black kits in North America?  The only teams that should be wearing black uniforms are the ones that actually have black as a team color.  Like the basketball teams at Duke, Gonzaga and Butler, and almost any team at Oregon, the Mexican soccer team doesn't qualify.  They all should dump the all-black kits, because they're wrong, wrong, wrong.  On top of that, they're wrong.

On second thought, this kit actually looks decent.  Since it doesn't have any green on it, maybe the FMF could license it to a side that could really use it, like Germany.


* Not aging yourself much, are you, Abu?

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